on a lonely day, i look out on the freeway

I've been feeling a little lost lately. It's not something that bothers me, really. Well, it does, but not all day, everyday. It's just at times when I'm doing nothing, or should be doing something but I choose to sit around and do nothing.

Like right now. I'm just sitting outside watching Roscoe sniff the grass and while listening to California by Wave (thanks Belle for posting it! haha) I love this song. Every time I listen to it I see the highway and all of us on the highway on a hot summer day as the sun is going down. Probably cause we made it tradition to always listen to it on the highway. It makes me sad every time I hear it though.

I've noticed that summer was so amazing because of all the things I did. The newness of everything. New relationships, new explorations, new experiences, new memories. But it's also much bigger than that. These "new" things opened my eyes to the world. I went places I've never been before, seen things I've only seen in pictures (yeah sure, the farthest thing was Seattle but you have to understand how little I've been able to travel). The people I've met have helped me to see myself in a better light. This summer I did a lot of growing up.

Now summer is over, but I feel like I'm still growing. There's something holding me back though. It's like I'm Ewan McGregor in Big Fish. What is it? I'm a big fish in a small pond. I want to discover things again. I want to go into the unknown, be a little scared. I'm tired of being safe. I don't want to be stuck anymore. I want to DO something.

I know I've said this before, many times. I've blogged about it to. I wish I could say that I know what I'm going to do about it. Like I said, I'm feeling lost.