"you really broke my heart"

Waves' dumpster is located pretty far away from the actual store and people have a habit of placing their garbage bags beside our dumpster (we lock it for this very reason). These people probably think "Well, I'm getting rid of my shit, and they'll probably just throw this in the dumpster when they throw their garbage away." What they don't anticipate is the mess: birds will rip through the garbage bags, trying to find anything they could salvage, bums may rummage through it too on occasion. Anyway, the end result is a huge pile of mess.

Today at work I had to clean up someone's garbage, that very mess I was just talking about. I understood why I had to do it and it didn't really make me angry. It was just kind of ridiculous. People never realize what one little thing could mean for someone else. Something that's easier for you may be an incredible hassle for another person. I just wish people would keep that in mind more often.

So please, take care of your mess before someone else is forced to deal with it. Be considerate or you're bound to hurt another person.

VIVA LA VIDA

God. Tonight was THE BEST night of my entire life. I cannot even begin to explain how amazing, amazing, A-MAZ-ING it was.



Coldplay, I love you.

NINETEEN

Nineteen (Album Version) - Tegan And Sara

So yesterday, after Kamila, Mae and I had left Bonnie and Belle's and "on our way to Waves", Kamila asks, "Have any of you done 19 stuff yet - other than clubbing?"

I think about it....Mae thinks about it...

Nope.

First thing that comes out of my mouth, "LET'S GO TO A BAR!" I get super excited while Kamila gets second thoughts ("What are we going to order?") and Mae reminds us that we have no money. Boo. Scratch that.

But no fear!! I don't remember who, but someone brings up another great, ultra amazing idea: the casino.

Oh my dear heavens, that place is just a whole other world! As we walked through, I imagined all the numbers on top of everyone's heads, like in Ocean's!! So cool!! Kamila, Mae, and I played slots the whole night. At first I had won $9.50! It was so exciting, but kinda scary, when my machine started making all those "cha-ching!" noises. I thought I had won $100, 000! Ha. But hey, I was pretty stoked about the $9.50! That's an hour's work for sitting down and pulling a slot handle thingy!

Sucks that I lost that.. hahahaha I was down $1.75 and I was determined to get it back. So I chose a machine and won it all back plus $.05 :) It felt great. We left right after because I'd totally lose it again haha.

Anyway, I know I should've realized this earlier, but 19 is going to be a great age - full of exciting and new experiences.

3978234 dolars

In my ethics class, we study different moral norms. One of which is Utilitarianism. This moral norm stands by the statement, "The greatest good for the greatest number". We discussed in class how difficult it is to rate or scale gains and losses. The great philosophers of the 18th century agreed. In an attempt to make things easier, they came up with a unit to measure losses (hedons), and gains (dolars).

Losses, or hedons, would count as things like anger, sadness, illness, grief, etc.

Dolars would be things like joy, contentment, satisfaction, and so on.

My day today, for some weird reason, consisted of a lot of dolars. It started super early (work at 7am). I wasn't too happy about that at first, but things started to look up. My manager and I cleaned the whole store 'cause a scary inspector lady was going to come in, either today or tomorrow. It was refreshing! Also made my shift go by incredibly fast.

I got off at 11am, the whole day ahead of me. So I decided to make a little visit to Goh Ballet Studio. I talked to them about the adult program and watched the advanced class for a bit. Gosh, they were incredible graceful and breathtakingly beautiful. There was this one guy though...he was wearing awfully tight spandex and he had a really obvious and funny looking tan on his legs - I'm guessing from wearing normal length shorts outside of ballet. Anywho, it's exciting to think that in either July or September, I'll be in that same room, looking silly but having the time of my life.

I then went home and took the most refreshing nap EVER. I love naps. Especially in my room, mid-day, when the sun is shining through my windows. I woke up and my whole family was home, in one room too! This is a very rare occassion. It was kinda nice :) Oh! And my mom mentioned that she wants to go on a cruise next year!! So far, but we never travel! This is so exciting!

After eating, I lounged around, waiting to head back out to watch a movie. The sun was going down. My room faces the sunset so the lighting is always so warm in my room during that time. I love it!

Anyways, I don't even know what I'm blogging about anymore hahah. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm good. I'm alone but no longer lonely, you know what I mean? I'm starting to realize that I can function on my own. I'm also beginning to like myself more. I am content.

love fool

So today I found out that I'm a cryer when it comes to weddings. Boy! Those things just break me down! But I loved every single minute of it.

I was so excited to see all the big bouquets of flowers, extravagant center pieces, breathtaking dresses, amazing orchestra music. You know, the whole shebang! Then my mom had told me that it wasn't going to be a big, fancy wedding. She was right. Everything was minimal. Even the bride's dress was rented. The only things decorated at the church were a handful of pews. The church itself was tiny. There was no live band or fancy wind instruments. Music was just being played from a CD.

But the fact that it was so simple made it that much more beautiful. Goodness, I can't even explain! As soon as the procession started, I began to tear. Then I began to tear even more when the bride walked in. But instead of looking at her, I looked back at the groom. Like that movie! Wedding Planner? I don't remember. But gosh, the look on his face just made the water works want to burst out (but don't worry, I held it together haha) He had the biggest smile ever. And then I began to think about what they were thinking at that exact moment. Him: I'm ****ed. HAHA Just kidding. I mean, it looked as if they were the only ones in the room. Her walking to him and no one else. *Siiiggghhh* I could definitely feel the love and that was enough to make the wedding beautiful.

Love doesn't need any fancy decorations or expensive accessories. It's extravagant, breathtaking, and amazing on its own. (Corny? Pssshhh, whatevs man. My whole day was corny and it was great! I think everyone should use a bit more corn in their lives! Corn always reminds me of Fat Bastard hehehehehe)

Sorry, I'm a bit high on romance right now.

Anyways, I think more people should get married :) Invite me to your weddings, please! Or you can just bring me to the arrivals gate at the YVR hehe

hakuna matata

I want to pull a Simba. You know, get away for a bit and meet a pair of free spirited buddies. Live the "hakuna matata" life. Look at stars, sing songs, transform while walking across a log, eat bugs (haha just kidding), but you know what I'm getting at. *Siigghh* That'd be pretty nice.

Sucks that things like that can't happen. Or if they do, they don't last. Why do good things always have to end? I'm crossing my fingers and guessing it's 'cause something better is a-comin'!

"and the truth is that i miss you"

Warning Sign (acoustic) - Coldplay

As I listened to Chris Martin's sexy voice on the drive home, I realized that I miss a lot of things.

I miss the tennis court, playing tag, recess, coming home at 3:30 pm and being able to watch Oprah at 4. I miss waking up early enough to watch Clueless, then Sabrina the Teenage Witch, then Dawson's Creek. I miss camping and summers when everyone was free everyday. I miss lunch time with friends, break with friends, homework with friends. I miss sleepovers and phone calls from concerned parents at 9:00 pm. I miss shark attack. I miss family nights of bingo and being bored in my cousin's room. I miss my cousin. I kinda miss getting picked up and dropped off by my dad. Goodness, I could go on, and on.

After that realization, I came to another realization: all the things I miss are things of my childhood. We're growing up. Things are changing, man! But then again, things are constantly changing. People come and go, you'll get hurt, you'll get better, you'll get into an argument, make up, break up, apologize, get better, whatever. You always want to go back to that time, way back when "things were easy". But things were never easy. It just seems like it was when you look back on it because you got through it. I know when I'm 70, deaf, and have a house full of cats, I'll think about this moment and say, "Back when I was firm and nimble, things were so easy..."

And it'll be because I got through it. I'll be fine. I guess I just kinda miss you, just a little bit and hopefully just for now.



**Shout out 2 mah gurlz Bonnie, Belle, and Linda: *siiigghhh* maaannn this isn't funny anymore. Geeezz maaannss! Come home already! Yeeessh! LOOVEE YOUUU! :)